Wait? You’re Name Isn’t Cliff?
You know Mark Cuban? He’s the guy that started Audionet a million years ago and now owns pretty much everything that Bill Gates doesn’t. You know his brother Brian? Me neither, but it seems that the bajillionaire’s brother caused a stir recently when he outed himself as a participant in Alcoholic’s Anonymous. While the “anonymous” part of the groups name should have made it obvious to me, but I didn’t realize that people going through the program are discouraged from publicly discussing their alcoholism.
I see where AA is coming from. Many-if not most-struggling alcoholics don’t want people to know of their problems with alcohol. The whole point of the program for them is to deal with the problem that is plaguing their life and to move forward and away from it. Secondarily, AA doesn’t want to give itself a bad name. If a member comes out as a recovering alcoholic and then suffers a setback, it not only reflects back on the individual, but also the program as a whole.
Brian’s take on the matter was that he wanted to make an example of himself in order to show that recovery from alcoholism was and is possible. He felt that if one person read his blog and was helped by it, he considered it worth it. He said that he was “not going to be ashamed of what has worked so well for me for the last year.”
This got me thinking.
The whole purpose of this blog, for me, was to be a place where I could discuss the issues surrounding homosexuality and the Church but primarily to serve as an example of someone who is living actively in the church and is also gay. It has always been my plan, down the road, to publicly out myself on this blog and my “mainstream” one. I don’t do it now because I don’t feel as though I am ready for the consequences that are likely to follow. Cuban faced criticism for coming out as a recovering alcoholic – no doubt there will be friction to me coming out publicly as gay and Mormon.
I once read a comment on a moho blog post where the commenter asked something to the effect of “do you seriously want to be known as ‘the gay one’ and be singled out in Elder’s Quorum every time the issue comes up?” I thought about it and I thought of course I do! Why? Because, with this subject, I know what I am talking about. Just like I’d want my non-LDS friends to come to me with questions about the church instead of going to Wikipedia, I don’t want Mormons relying on negative stereotypes in forming their ideas about homosexuality. If I can be a a good example to straight members of someone is gay and living the gospel then I absolutely want everyone to know that I am gay. Why don’t I do it now? Because I am not ready yet. When I come out, I want it to be on my terms and according to my time-table. Several members of my family know and a few friends, but coming out to everyone is a completely different thing altogether. So, I’m coming out, just don’t wait up for it.
P.S. Luke McFarlane is out now. Not a huge surprise, I’m just sayin’.