Where Do I Go From Here?
I’d grown accustomed to seeing L and then, last week, Kira kills him just like that. No more careful conversations between him and Light. No more homoerotic undertones (the foot massage, I mean please). No more constant eating. Boom, dead L. I watched The Death Note this week and I felt let down. It seemed as though they were stretching out the series. Part of me feels that it should have died with L.
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the series will now be better than ever: what I thought should have been an end is really just a turn that leads to a new and exciting path. Maybe there is hope after all….
I won’t lie. This weekend sucked to high heaven. I’m only now barely getting over the weight of the pain and doubt. Yesterday, after work I came into my apartment and went straight to sleep on my slightly-too-small Ikea couch. I posted a mildly cryptic, overly dramatic message on my Twitter and made one of those illogical deals with myself where I decided that if no one checked up on my when I woke up, I would stop going to church. It was one of those self-gratifying deals that you don’t go through with, even if the conditions are met.
I woke up an hour later actually feeling better. I checked my email and Facebook account. Nothing. I checked my cell phone. My mom had called-twice. I talked to her for a while and then made pancakes.
I guess we all are allowed our emotional breakdowns every once in a while (even if we aren’t allowed them, it looks like I’m going to have to take them anyway). I’ve always believed that it doesn’t matter how many times we fall down, as long as we get back up again. Well, I’m getting back up. My left knee has a pretty deep gash, I’m walking with a limp, and I’ll probably be in a foul mood for the rest of the week, but I’m getting back up. Where do I go from here? The same place I was going last week…just a little slower.