The Last Thing You’ll See Me Write About Prop 8

Being a Mormon in the film production industry is uncommon.  Let me rephrase, being an active Mormon in the film industry is uncommon.  So much so, that when other people find out that I am Mormon, often they don’t know what to say.

Mostly the reaction I get when people find out my religion is, “oh, I hope I don’t offend you!”  They assume that one sexual reference or “F-Bomb” is going to send me off to scrub my ears in a shocked fit of prayer.  I did go to non-BYU film school, people.  We watched unrated movies and everything.  Even foreign movies.

To their statement I usually laugh and say, “don’t worry, I’m actually pretty hard to offend,” which is true.  While I’m easily irritated, truly offending me is rare.

But now, I am deeply hurt and offended.  I can’t point to anyone individually, but the people that have caused me to feel emotionally heavy and dark are the two political groups currently fighting over Prop 8 in California.  I’ve always been Prop 8 Agnostic in my public communications and I continue to be so in the effort to not have my opinion sway anyone one way or another (as if that could happen).  I have read many blog posts and comments that have been very civil and diplomatic in their support for and opposition to the proposition.  Unfortunately, I have seen much more name-calling, outright lying, and plainly evil rhetoric being lobbed back and forth.  Having an inherent foot in both sides of the argument, being hit from both sides has caused my protective “don’t take it personally” filter to break down and many of the statements have seeped in.  According to these groups:

Because I am gay I:

  • am selfish.
  • am immoral.
  • am dangerous to children.
  • am harmful to society.

Because I am Mormon I:

  • am a hatemonger.
  • am anti-family.
  • am intolerant.
  • am harmful to society.

I admit, the gay ones hurt more than the Mormon ones (I’ve been hearing them my whole life) and while I’ve always been taught to never be ashamed of my beliefs – I don’t have the same years of open conviction when it comes to my sexuality.  It is hard not to take things personally when they are attacking two things about me that are very personal.

So, I have decided that I am no longer going to read, watch, or participate in any more discussions, articles, or news stories related to Prop 8.  I realize that people feel that they should stand up for their beliefs and that’s fine, but I, however, can’t.  The issues are too close, the pain is too real, and I am too tired.

I spent time with friends this weekend.  I talked with them, laughed, played with their kid….  To them, none of the above is true.  I am focusing on that; the rest will have to take care of itself for now.

12 thoughts on “The Last Thing You’ll See Me Write About Prop 8

  1. Samantha

    I spent time with friends this weekend. I talked with them, laughed, played with their kid…. To them, none of the above is true. I am focusing on that; the rest will have to take care of itself for now.

    What a good idea. I agree–time for some rest for the weary.

  2. Kristie

    Cliff, I have to tell you, I found your site last night after it was recommended in a heated Prop 8 discussion thread on Facebook. I am LDS,from CA, a Democrat, with many gay friends. I have wanted to talk about Prop 8 on my blog and it is an exhausting issue that people feel very strongly about (I’m against it.)

    When I read parts of your blog last night I was so impressed with your insights, your diplomacy, and the quality of your writing that I decided to just point my blog’s visitors in your site’s direction. You said everything I wanted to say about the need for people to be sensitive to each other in such a poignant way that I couldn’t have said it better. And, because you are both LDS, gay and don’t tell people how to vote I think it strengthens your credibility.

    I can only imagine how draining it is to be in your position right now, much less feeling the need to discuss it on a much-visited blog, but I just wanted to express my admiration. I think it is incredibly brave and generous. You are truly a positive representative of both the Church and the gay community. Good on you.

    Thanks for all you do-
    Kristie

  3. Kristie

    OMG, I am so sorry I wrote your name wrong. duh. I was reading your blog very late last night and I could’ve sworn that is the name I saw. But I guess the content is most important thing!

  4. TheFaithfulDissident

    A “Prop 8 Agnostic.” Wow, that’s the PERFECT term! I think I also fall into that category. I’ve delved into both sides and neither of them feel 100% right. Is there any middle ground?

  5. Clint Post author

    @Samantha – Srsly.

    @Lisa – Stranger or no, it’s appreciated.

    @Heather – It really does mean a lot. :-)

    @Kristie – I used to use “Cliff” as my pseudonym. Don’t worry, no big.

    @TFD – I probably need to start learning the real terms for things, instead of making up words of my own… :-)

  6. M

    I get what you’re saying about getting worn down. I was in a class the other day and we were discussing legal issues. The subject turned to same-sex marriage, a subject I dread because I can’t feel strongly about it one way or the other. One guy kind of went on a complicated spiel in defense of it.

    And of course, being me, I felt I had to fashion a response that would be pleasing to both sides of the debate, but that basically just said those in support of Prop. 8 had brains and weren’t just hate-mongers.

    Anyway, I didn’t succeed. My response came out so bizarrely because of nervousness that the teacher had to ask me to repeat what I had said in a comprehensible way and I did and I still don’t think they understood what I was aiming to do…

    Anyway, I felt like a real idiot and wished that our political environment these days didn’t have to be so hyper-charged, that we (or at least I) could discuss these issues with calm, emotionless rationale. I hate walking on pins and needles…

    I’m partially recounting this because it’s been bothering me for the past few days and wish it wasn’t and do not want to go back to class, though I know I’m probably blowing it up into too much…maybe…I hope.

  7. Alan

    Clint it is good to find another Prop 8 Agnostic. I have studied the issues and arguments on both sides pretty thoroughly and like you have also been careful not to say publicly which way I would vote. I share your dismay with the vitriol and distortions on both sides; that kind of approach does no one any good. I appreciate your calm and reasoned tone and try to take that approach myself in my own blog posts. Keep it up.

  8. Ezra

    I think the bottom line about Prop 8 is that in the long term, it’s not going to matter one bit—people will continue to live their lives, one way or the other, and if it passes, every year they will try to repeal it until it is repealed… So don’t worry–this too, shall pass.

  9. Natasha

    I am an active, card-carrying, married mother of 4 Mormon who would have voted No. It wasn’t an easy decision. But the other night I sat down to write out why and it just flowed out. I’m giving you the link because I know how it can feel like a big hug when my views are validated.

    Also, because in the comments, someone told me I should read your blog. I said that I already do. I haven’t been by in a while but I love your blog and I love you.

    So, part one: http://www.becomingsomething.com/2008/11/gay-marriage-and-gay-mormons.html

    and part two: http://www.becomingsomething.com/2008/11/gay-marriage-prop-8-aftermath.html

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