Comments on: Stop Calling Me “Straight Acting”

By: Alan

Alan — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:51:48 +0000

@Clint – acknowledged and agreed. Didn’t mean to imply otherwise.

By: Clint

Clint — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:43:21 +0000

@Alan – I’m not criticizing those guys who enjoy musical theater and have an emotional connection to Judy Garland, I’m simply saying that because I have different interests I’m not more “straight”.

By: Alan

Alan — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 20:55:18 +0000

I’m with you on this one, Clint. I don’t match The Stereotype and find much of it distasteful. I wish both ends of the spectrum would be less hung up on images and patterns and really accept that life is a mosaic with innumerable variations. I am definitely not gender-confused.

And now, having burned a bit of cedar incense to freshen the house, I’m going out back to kill a chicken for dinner before Ultimate Fight Club comes on.

By: Clint

Clint — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:54:26 +0000

@Max Power & @adamf – Hmmm…forgot about Moulin Rouge. Way to bring down my entire argument! :-)

@Heather – Yeah, I know it can be frustrating. Sometimes these things take a lot of time (of which, I’m sure you are more aware than I am).

@Troy – Good point. Yeah, the gays these days seem to be less hung up on the butch/femme spectrum than they used to, but it is still there in some degree. I agree that the more well adjusted guy don’t really bother with it. Straight people, however seem as concerned with it as they always have.

By: Troy

Troy — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:33:33 +0000

Hi,

I’ve always hated the term “straight-acting” myself. To me, it implies a certain internalized homophobia when men apply it to themselves. It says, “I’m so masculine that you’d never know I’m gay.” Or, in other words, “I’m not an effeminate queen.” Personally, I don’t like how a lot of straight men act, so I’d never define myself in those terms.

I much prefer the term “butch (to me a sexualized term)” or simply “masculine”. Over the years, I’ve grown more comfortable with effeminacy because I realize that these guys are every bit the man I am.

Dan Savage is an entertaining writer. But he’s also kind of old-school. There was a movement against “straight-acting” back in the eighties and nineties. I see the term still pop up on occasion, but usually it’s from someone stuck in the process of coming out (I believe another sign of being stuck is the plethora of gay men calling themselves bisexual, even though they’ve never been with a woman – but that’s another post). Most well-adjusted gay men have just accepted themselves as they are.

Troy

By: Heather

Heather — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:31:37 +0000

yeah… still bugged about what my mom said last night. I meant to tell you this too in our discussion we had about this last night that to me it seems like you don’t have to be that way because you are secure with your decision and you’re not trying to prove to anyone who you are. you are just you… the way God made you.

By: adamf

adamf — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 01:23:46 +0000

Sometimes I wonder if I am “gay acting.” :) Two of my favorite movies are Moulin Rouge and Mamma Mia! (I love musicals), as a general rule I’m from Venus and my wife is from Mars when it comes to conflict and avoidance, and I cry at movies and love having close male friendships.

I love the blog btw. Very entertaining. Isn’t it great we all get to be who we want to be.

By: Max Power

Max Power — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:55:06 +0000

Sigh. I love Adam Brody. Can’t wait to see him in spandex. :P

Good comments on the term straight acting. I have many masculine traits that would seem to make me a gay poser (I love cars, video games and kickboxing). It’s not me trying to act straight, it’s just me trying to act like me. Those are things I find enjoyable. Although, I do love Wicked and fruit-flavored beverages.